A family of 4....

As I sit here tonight and write this post there are many thoughts going through my head...

Our sweet girl is already in bed and fast asleep and its not quite 7pm here. Ryan is off to school to finish up this semester so he will finally have half of his degree completed. And I have my feet kicked up trying to take it easy as possible before this little man gets here.

The past few weeks I think reality really started to sink in. It is sinking in that Brynlee is not going to be our only baby. She will not be our 100% focus anymore, she will have to share some of that focus with her brother. I wouldn't say that I am "scared" but I am just anxious to see how this all goes down. I know you never share your love with your children, you just grow your love and make more room in your heart for the second baby. Is it weird to think my heart is so full of love between Brynlee and Ryan, that I am scared there is not room for more? I know that sounds crazy, and Beckham, when your reading this some day just know, that I will make room for you lil man, I promise! I think every mom I have talked to goes through this fear of having their second baby. From what I am told, going from 1 to 2 babies is a LOT different, but any more babies after that comes a lot easier. Probably because you are not used to having to split any time up when you only have one baby and when you have 2 or 3 or 4, you are used to splitting it up. Am I over thinking all of this? Probably. It's what I do best these days, I swear!

On the flip side of being nervous/anxious... I also cannot wait! I cannot wait to hold this lil guy. I cannot wait to see what he looks like and if he is going to be taller than his sister! I cannot wait to see Brynn take care of him as his big sister and then him eventually take care of her some day as her brother. I think having a girl first will give him a softer side, just naturally. He will learn to take care of women and learn the nurturing side that she so often prevails. I hear that is how it usually goes when the sister is the older sibling, and I love that. I cannot wait to have the newborn snuggles again, the nursing, the middle of the night wake up calls, the smell of a newborn, just everything! 

 I do think Beckham will complete our family. I think we are meant to be a family of 4. Me and Ryan have always said, we want 2 kids. We want 2 kids so that eventually down the line we can pay for their college education, we want to be able to help them buy their first cars and just give them an amazing life full of family vacations and amazing memories. We personally feel anything past two would be hard in the long run financially and we want to be able to give them the fullest life possible.

With all that being said... this little man will probably arrive before October 12th or 13th. My doctor is out of town my entire week of my due date, so me and Ryan both agreed we'd feel more comfortable getting induced to ensure we are able to get our amazing Dr. Wilson. I have a strong feeling he will arrive on his own before then, but if for some reason he doesnt, we want to know we Dr. Wilson to take care the best care of us that we know he will!

Only a few more weeks till I will be posting his birth story! Stay tuned.... :)